; Life is like champagne......: 40....what's it about?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

40....what's it about?

40, it is just a number. Yes it is the age of me as of today, 40 years since my mother gave birth to me. Do I feel 40? Not sure what that means and often find myself thinking about it. People seem to make it a big deal so in turn this makes you feel like you have to make it a big deal. I have gone over this post several times since I first wrote it. My sister-in-law told me the other day that 40 is the new 30........the more I think about it, the more she is right(love ya Deb).

I remember when I turned 30, it was when we lived in Hawaii. I had some sort of mental block after turning 30 where I did not seem to remember how old I was each year and had to calculate it out off of the year I was born. I guess it bothered me, but again, it was just a number.

I can say that my husband and I experienced a lot before we decided to have a child. In fact, for most of our married life, I thought I was not going to have children. We traveled a lot, lived in Maui after we got married, moved back to Connecticut and both had established new careers. Then one day it dawned on me, after calculating out from my birth year that I was 35, maybe we should rethink about having a child. I had no regrets on not having done things I could have done, we did more than I would have ever dreamed of. I never thought I would have ever gone to India or even Australia. Having a child would be a new chapter in our lives. My mom and my husbands mother both had us when they were in their early 20's, where as majority of my friends are just starting to have kids, even some not even at that point. When you wait to have children later in life, it is not any easier. Planning is tossed out the window. I am one of those people who would like to believe that eventually Darwinism will take over and some time in the future, the prime birth age will move from the 20's to the 30's. Not in our life time, if this were to even happen. BTW, my former OBGYN thought I was crazy when I told her this. But, she also thought I was crazy calling her up at 10pm at night complaining of bad indigestion at 8 months pregnant saying to me "Just take more pepcid and stop in the office the next morning". Yea......preeclampsia and forced into labor the next day, thankfully without her. She apologized when she saw me AFTER I gave birth, I have not seen her again.

Now I am 40.....along with many of my friends whom I have known as far back as grade school. What is next? Maybe a different career and another child, I think I have plenty of time for both. Community seems to be more important to me than ever, must be because I am really settling in to my town and want to contribute as much as I can. I found myself not having to count back from my birth year this time, but thinking forward. What use to be important to me, is not any more. I am not perfect, never said I was, I know my faults. I'm sentimental, may be a little old fashioned in some ways, will bend over backwards for family and friends. I have done good deeds that I know many would not take the time to do. These things will not change for me, only my age, after all...it is just a number.

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crystal said...

Happy Birthday Sweetie!!!(no matter what number:))

Kathleen W. said...

Happy Birthday Robin! I can totally relate about having to count back to my birth year. I can never remember if I'm 32, 33, or 34 (I'm 34!).

Aging has been on my mind a lot lately, especially after having my son last year. I'm glad that I got all of the exploration out of my system before settling down. Like your mom and MIL, my mom/MIL had their kids in their early 20s. I think I bring some interesting experiences to motherhood. Now the question is if/when we might add another child to the mix.

Happy Birthday again! Enjoy your day, and yes, 40 is the new 30!

katy said...

Happy Birthday Robin! You're only as old as you feel.